A Poet's World by Trisha Rapley...
Updated: Oct 9
On days like today I really just need to be left with my laptop, coffee, and my thoughts. These days are the longest; left in the darkness of my room with nothing but the screen light in my eyes.
My thoughts are overflowing with words from the emotions of my heart and the only way to process them is to feel through them. If I had a dollar for all the times things went wrong well, wouldn't I be a rich lady?
I think as a child the most important thing anyone can teach or tell you is "Life is one tough mother fucking ride. "You'll either die trying to do your best or die not giving your best!"
"You don't always get what you want rather you get what you need."
And that is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. More so when you have your heart so set on something or someone. Let's be honest there are some things or some people out there who are just not for us. The reasons are so dramatically seen and others are our complete lack of judgment. Nevertheless, the signs are right there from the beginning and it really just comes down to choosing what to believe is right.
The acceptance comes from the recognition they were either a lesson on the things we needed to learn most or our complete inability to see our own self-worth. Both were very, very life-changing situations. I guess that is where I am; in the situation of acceptance hence the mash-potato brain I currently have and the need for complete solitude.
It's the days like today I find I have to exhaust my backup strength just to make it from morning to night. I find writing helps but it doesn't always make sense, proofreading is a nightmare and emotional attachment normally takes over.
I guess that these are the days of losses, not wins. The coffee aroma constantly fills the air and the knocks of the keyboard letters louder than a plane's engine is simply a sign that everything has gone to hell again.
I am reminded constantly of all the times I was stronger with the scroll of the mouse; reading all the quotes I aspired and put together for this kind of time. The world of a writer is one of mystical adventures, inspirational rants of enduring strengths, and the hope to live a fuller and admired life by inspiring others.
When really it is a life spent behind the pages of computer screens, books, and notes pads pouring your fragile heart out into a world trying to give the hope you so desperately need yourself.
"So, as I push down each key of the numerous letters on my laptop I hope to be the reason you see hope and only wish for you to smell love in the air that fills your lungs not the stale empty coffee cup and the sight of the one true person who fills your heart beyond every need rather than the light from the words on your screen."
A Poet's World...