Complete only in Jesus Matthew 6:33 - Personal Blog of Trisha Rapley, Australian Author.

I, too, have loved, and I have waited, with the kind of devotion that belongs on an altar.

Not because they asked for it, but because my heart did not yet know the difference between waiting and worship.

I waited.

I waited in silence heavy with hope.

I waited in rooms where my prayers were really questions about them.

I waited with my hands open, thinking patience would turn them into a promise.

I told myself this was faith.

I told myself love required endurance.

But deep within my chest, something holy kept stirring, gently asking,

Why are you kneeling here?

I sang heaven’s language with earthly longing in my throat. I said, Lord, I trust You, while fixing my eyes on someone who could not save me.

I waited for consistency from a heart still learning its own name.

I waited for safety from hands not steady enough to hold it.

I waited for reassurance from someone also waiting

to be healed.

And all the while, Jesus stood quietly beside me, not competing, not demanding, not pulling me away, but whispering, Daughter, you were never meant to live at the door of someone else’s becoming.

Healing does not begin where longing is misplaced. It begins where truth is faced. I loved someone when I should have been letting myself be loved by God.

Not instead of them, but before him. Because love that flows from Jesus does not cling.

It does not beg.

It does not abandon itself to be chosen.

It waits, but it waits rightly.

Waiting with Jesus does not shrink a woman.

It restores her posture.

It lifts her gaze.

It reminds her that love is not proven by endurance alone, but by alignment.

And so I stepped back from the edge of a heart that could not yet hold me.

Not in bitterness.

Not in shame.

But in reverence.

I laid down the people I loved like a god and returned them to their rightful place, human, learning, incomplete.

And in that surrender, I found myself standing again in the presence of the One who heals without hesitation, who stays without confusion, who waits with me without asking me to lose myself.

This is not the end of love.

It is the beginning of love made whole.

I am still waiting, but now my waiting sounds like worship again.

Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Matthew 6:33

Lord,

Forgive me for the moments I placed human love where only you belonged.

Heal the places in me that confused longing with devotion and patience with surrender.

Teach me to wait without losing myself, to love without making idols, and to trust you as my first and greatest love.

Realign my heart, steady my hope, and lead me into love that flows from you, not replaces you.

Amen.

Complete only in Jesus Matthew 6:33 - Personal Blog of Trisha Rapley, Australian Author.

Complete only in Jesus Matthew 6:33 - Personal Blog of Trisha Rapley, Australian Author.