Heart As Big As An Ocean by Trisha Rapley...
Updated: Oct 9
Love makes me emotional and I am super sensitive with a big heart. It scares the hell out of me to feel so much love for one person and not know where it is coming from or why.
I love deeply without ever knowing how or why. I am unable to express myself in words and sometimes I can even get my words out. I will have tears running from my eyes and not know where to start. I will get embarrassed about being emotional and even try to hide my face.
I need you to know for the longest time I haven't been loved. It makes me a little uncomfortable trying to figure out how it all works and how I can process the feeling itself.
I guess it is like anything really we fear what we don't understand and if loving is so easy how can I not know how to be loved?
It is almost a natural thing to love anything and everything. To see the beauty in all things created but what we sometimes forget is to love the beauty inside ourselves.
I think that is where love starts. You need to learn to accept love by first giving it to yourself so you can be prepared for when the right person tries to love you.
I never understood the power and importance of self-love. I found giving love gave me a sense of soul fulfillment and purpose and it worked for a long time until someone tried to love me.
In taking away the ability to give and receive my own love I have lost the capability to recognize and accept it from others.
"I remember the first time someone tried to love me, I got so fucking scared and I cried. I had these overwhelming feelings and I didn't know what to do with them. I was absolutely terrified!"
I cry a lot sometimes because I feel everything so deeply especially when someone is doing things for me, caring for me, checking up on me, and loving me.
I am super sensitive to anything that comes from receiving love. It's not that I don't want or need it because the Lord knows I do it's just I need a little practice with it.
You've gotta remember this is all new to me.. and there will be times I seem a little out of my mind (a little crazy), too much, or over top but you must know I am doing my best. Trying to work out a way to take it all in.
"Loving her isn't just about what you can give her but how you can make her feel. What I need is a sturdy hand to hold and be told that it's ok to feel your love. "Tell me it is ok to open my heart and that I am safe with you.
Please always be patient with me especially when I am trying to speak from my heart.
Heart As Big As An Ocean...